My attempt to come to terms with the ridiculousness of my life..
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Litany
Litany
You are the bread and the knife,
The crystal goblet and the wine...
-Jacques Crickillon
You are the bread and the knife,
the crystal goblet and the wine.
You are the dew on the morning grass
and the burning wheel of the sun.
You are the white apron of the baker,
and the marsh birds suddenly in flight.
However, you are not the wind in the orchard,
the plums on the counter,
or the house of cards.
And you are certainly not the pine-scented air.
There is just no way that you are the pine-scented air.
It is possible that you are the fish under the bridge,
maybe even the pigeon on the general's head,
but you are not even close
to being the field of cornflowers at dusk.
And a quick look in the mirror will show
that you are neither the boots in the corner
nor the boat asleep in its boathouse.
It might interest you to know,
speaking of the plentiful imagery of the world,
that I am the sound of rain on the roof.
I also happen to be the shooting star,
the evening paper blowing down an alley
and the basket of chestnuts on the kitchen table.
I am also the moon in the trees
and the blind woman's tea cup.
But don't worry, I'm not the bread and the knife.
You are still the bread and the knife.
You will always be the bread and the knife,
not to mention the crystal goblet and--somehow--the wine.
- Billy Collins
Reminds me of fall. And how I'm no longer in school. I would say the bonus of this is that I can read what I want but I am making myself read Anna Karenina. So I might just be a masochist.
You are the bread and the knife,
The crystal goblet and the wine...
-Jacques Crickillon
You are the bread and the knife,
the crystal goblet and the wine.
You are the dew on the morning grass
and the burning wheel of the sun.
You are the white apron of the baker,
and the marsh birds suddenly in flight.
However, you are not the wind in the orchard,
the plums on the counter,
or the house of cards.
And you are certainly not the pine-scented air.
There is just no way that you are the pine-scented air.
It is possible that you are the fish under the bridge,
maybe even the pigeon on the general's head,
but you are not even close
to being the field of cornflowers at dusk.
And a quick look in the mirror will show
that you are neither the boots in the corner
nor the boat asleep in its boathouse.
It might interest you to know,
speaking of the plentiful imagery of the world,
that I am the sound of rain on the roof.
I also happen to be the shooting star,
the evening paper blowing down an alley
and the basket of chestnuts on the kitchen table.
I am also the moon in the trees
and the blind woman's tea cup.
But don't worry, I'm not the bread and the knife.
You are still the bread and the knife.
You will always be the bread and the knife,
not to mention the crystal goblet and--somehow--the wine.
- Billy Collins
Reminds me of fall. And how I'm no longer in school. I would say the bonus of this is that I can read what I want but I am making myself read Anna Karenina. So I might just be a masochist.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Big Bang Theory
I recently started watching Big Bang Theory(I'm going through seasons of shows like crazy if anyone has any suggestions). I've pretty much decided the only reason the show is funny is because of Sheldon. The rest of the characters are only ok. I was going to put some youtube videos up but none of the are embedded apparently.
I was thinking of dressing up as the Doppler effect for Halloween(ripping of Sheldon's costume idea) but I will probably go as something sluttier. I was thinking cowgirl or flapper. I also am considering slutting up my costume from last year so I am actually a slutty pumpkin not an adorable one.( See this post for my costume last year http://ridiculousandawkward.blogspot.com/2009/11/ultimate-face.html)
However I'm pretty sure no matter what I'm just going to be adorable anyways because I'm not willing to show the necessary skin that goes along with looking slutty on Halloween aka lingerie.
I was thinking of dressing up as the Doppler effect for Halloween(ripping of Sheldon's costume idea) but I will probably go as something sluttier. I was thinking cowgirl or flapper. I also am considering slutting up my costume from last year so I am actually a slutty pumpkin not an adorable one.( See this post for my costume last year http://ridiculousandawkward.blogspot.com/2009/11/ultimate-face.html)
However I'm pretty sure no matter what I'm just going to be adorable anyways because I'm not willing to show the necessary skin that goes along with looking slutty on Halloween aka lingerie.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Topics
Since I am currently pretty boring I have been finding it tricky to find interesting things to blog about. Here are some of the things I deemed to lame to actually write an entire blog about:
1.How Anna Karenina is like Jersey Shore. I can actually think of numerous examples. I guess times don't change that much. But I might like Jersey Shore more. Anna Karenina is very long.
2. How I am improving at driving standard. I no longer stall everytime I stop. I consider this a step in the right direction. I have also mastered the rolling stop.
3. I have applied for many jobs. I only want about one of them. They have not called me.
Anyways I'm going to have to think of some shenanigans to get into so I am more interesting.
1.How Anna Karenina is like Jersey Shore. I can actually think of numerous examples. I guess times don't change that much. But I might like Jersey Shore more. Anna Karenina is very long.
2. How I am improving at driving standard. I no longer stall everytime I stop. I consider this a step in the right direction. I have also mastered the rolling stop.
3. I have applied for many jobs. I only want about one of them. They have not called me.
Anyways I'm going to have to think of some shenanigans to get into so I am more interesting.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
The Postal Service
Humpty Dumpty BBQ Chips
My Big Fat Greek Wedding
Wonderwall
Dorm Rooms
Tequila
White Rum
Five Alive
Vanilla Coke
Hats
The Orioles
Baseball
Murray
Large Orange Envelopes
Scrubs
Entourage
The Transporters
Cool Runnings
Zathura
Saw
Techno
Video Games
Halo
The Sims Shower Song
A Million Little Pieces
Holes
Gummi Bears
A&W Root Beer
Napolean Dynamite
Crib
Cranium
Canoes
Rummy
Scrabble
Golden Labs
Stuffed Frogs
Songs that have both Rappers and Singers
Driving Standard
Krzers
Tall Boys
Curly Hair
Orange
Green
Oreo Cakesters
Iron Supplements
Hot Sauce
Baby Horse
Deserted Parking lots
Lakes
Tire Swings
Wake Boarding
Camping
Cream Eggs
Blackheads
Greasy Hair
Nightwatchmen
I deleted you from my facebook. I'm going to delete you from my heart.
And you were wrong about me hating turtle on entourage. I love him.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Entourage and Driving
So my week has been devoted to two things: Learning how to drive and watching all the seasons of entourage.
My conclusions are as follows: Driving standard is hard. I seem to be getting progressively worse. I hope its one of those things that get worse before they get better or else I'm screwed. I'm hoping to write my drivers test in an automatic but if I get my lisence I will need to drive the standard vehicles until I get my own car.
I would like to find a friend who will be famous so I can be part of their entourage. I'm hoping my friend B will make it as he has already promised me the job of PR person and his manager.We might have to do less partying tho because I am prone to wicked bad hangovers.
My conclusions are as follows: Driving standard is hard. I seem to be getting progressively worse. I hope its one of those things that get worse before they get better or else I'm screwed. I'm hoping to write my drivers test in an automatic but if I get my lisence I will need to drive the standard vehicles until I get my own car.
I would like to find a friend who will be famous so I can be part of their entourage. I'm hoping my friend B will make it as he has already promised me the job of PR person and his manager.We might have to do less partying tho because I am prone to wicked bad hangovers.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Ridiculous problem
Does anyone else get an itch under where their ponytail is? I have recently been rocking the ponytail more than I usually do mainly because I rarely leave my house. Sad I know. I guess the obvious answer would be to stop wearing the ponytail so much but my hair drives me crazy when its down all the time. I'm considering shaving my head. Although I also think I may be balding as I lose a ridiculous amount of hair.
PS I know its not lice because I made my mom check.
PPS I know I am pathetic haha.
PS I know its not lice because I made my mom check.
PPS I know I am pathetic haha.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Terrible Blogger
So mainly I don't blog alot because my life is currently very boring. But this past week was actually pretty fun/busy-ish, hence why I was not blogging. My step brother was home from Afghanistan and visiting with his gf/ my other step brother so there was lots of family time. This entailed:
-Getting so drunk on a tuesday that I puked in my hallway. It was shameful.
- Playing a crazy amount of Settlers of Catan. Which is a ridiculous board game. Made even more ridiculous by my family because we get rowdy. And insulted. And very competitive. Imagine a table full of people yelling about sheeps, clay and building roads. Calling each other names and proclaiming our hate. You might get close to the chaos that ensued. We are a very loving family really.
-Going out to a bar with my drunk parents. Being forced by them when we were the only people on the dance floor. In front of the cute boys I met last weekend. If I possesed a shame gland it would have been severly inflamed. Luckily I have an awesome gland instead.
- Eating so much delicious food.
However I am now back to trying to find a job/ laying around my house. Which is getting old.
-Getting so drunk on a tuesday that I puked in my hallway. It was shameful.
- Playing a crazy amount of Settlers of Catan. Which is a ridiculous board game. Made even more ridiculous by my family because we get rowdy. And insulted. And very competitive. Imagine a table full of people yelling about sheeps, clay and building roads. Calling each other names and proclaiming our hate. You might get close to the chaos that ensued. We are a very loving family really.
-Going out to a bar with my drunk parents. Being forced by them when we were the only people on the dance floor. In front of the cute boys I met last weekend. If I possesed a shame gland it would have been severly inflamed. Luckily I have an awesome gland instead.
- Eating so much delicious food.
However I am now back to trying to find a job/ laying around my house. Which is getting old.
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