My attempt to come to terms with the ridiculousness of my life..

Monday, October 29, 2012


So I have this theory about Halloween. You know how everyone thinks New Years is all overrated, too much hype when its simply another night where you get drunk but there is added pressure and whatnot. I find New Years isn't usually like that for me because I have super low expectations so I generally have a better time than I expect.

Halloween is my New Years. I always think its going to be super awesome, but really its generally like every other night but with costumes. So I probably have to work on my expectations blah blah blah.

This year I found to be especially lame, perhaps because my holiday buddy wasn't here(TYLER I MISS YOU!). The Friday night sorority party was ok, but I was working the next day so I didn't drink and I left super early. I do think it was pretty fun tho, and there was excellent snacks and lots of fun picture taking. But I had strangely high hopes for Saturday.

I had invited the neck wrecker to go with me and he cancelled at the last minute because he had to get up early the next day(which is reasonable but for some reason sent me into a spiral of self doubt). Anyways I was disappointed, which I hate to admit. And I then proceeded to get shitty drunk but luckily managed not to do anything too stupid like text him but only mildly stupid. And I had a wicked bad hangover the next day.

My basic point is I probably have been obsessing about this boy too much and I really need to stop. I just need to focus on what's going on in my life(which is A LOT, I did my first paid film gig today :D). So I'm just going to let things unfold as the may and switch my obsessing to school and film related things. Cause I should be freaking out about this month but I haven't been so far.(I'm directing a short I wrote in like 2 weeks,super scary.)

This was rambly. And long. And probably not that coherent. But now y'all know what being in my head is like :).  Hypothesis here: If I get lower expectations of Halloween it will end up being better.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

One of the MOST Awkward events that have ever happened to me.

So. This is a sex story. So skip it you aren't into such things.

So I would say I have been dating the neck wrecker for awhile now. We started sleeping together mid July, not sure when the actual dating began haha. Point being that we've been hanging out fairly frequently.

We are both weird and awkward. So that's good I guess. He actually said " I'm always thinking I'm weird but then I remember you're weird too." Which sums up how I generally feel as well.

Anyways. Awkward story.

My birth control has been being weird, as I just switched prescriptions. So I have been spotting. Which wasn't an issue during the week as the neck wrecker is working in Moncton. But the weekend comes along and the spotting had been stopped for a couple of days so I figured I was fine. So he came over and we hung out and what have you. And we had sex that night and then again in the morning and everything was fine. And were just laying around the next day and we've been talking about going to eat forever but we hadn't. It was a nice leisurely day. And we then realize that the roommates had left so we start to have sex again( I know it seems like a bit much but had been like a week). But then someone came back and we stopped having sex for a minute and I realize then that I HAD BLED EVERYWHERE. It was the worst thing ever(I'm not necessarily against period sex, but you want advance notice.) Anyways he was really cool about it and I was super awkward and apologized about a million times. Apparently we're even for the neck hickey thing now.

I have a theory living with a girl who isn't on birth control is overpowering my weak birth controlled hormones.

Because of this awfulness, but the not freaking out on his part has lead me to think he might actually be my boyfriend(I'm not quite ready to admit it Whitney haha).